Trip Report: DAY 5

[DConCT]

Wednesday: Oasis/Hotel/Mardi Gras/Pat O’Briens

I woke up Wednesday with that feeling you get when you think you’re late for work or school… only I was in a Cancun hotel room. Looking around the room, I realized that there was no way I was getting to work by 9am. A box on the nightstand gave me a clue as to recent events. After returning home from the City hours before, I had met up with Mr. Pizza guy on the moped outside the hotel. My funds were depleted, so after he named his price of 150 pesos I had run up to the room to get cash. I remember the fog clearing long enough to realize that there was no way this guy was going to sell me a moderately warm greasy pizza for $15, but I was hungry from dancing my rhythmically challenged ass off for the past few hours. So we discussed the pizza at length. 80 pesos later I had a pizza. And I was in a sharing mood. So I took my pizza out by the pool looking for friends to dine with. Pretty quiet, except for the guy I saw who was sneaking a girl into the beach bathrooms. As I sat on the steps that lead from the pool down to the beach area, I watched the drunks wander in (sans pizza). It seems that security was on to the kid in the bathroom, and was starting to circle around me. I sat there and ate pizza as they kept walking by. The kid emerged with his drunken conquest, and the chase was on. Luckily the stairwells at the Carrousel are lit, and I could see them sneaking up a flight at a time (munch munch), then emerge at the other end of the hallway at another stairwell. Security was not too sharp at this hotel, and the game went on for a good half-hour. Nobody stopped to eat pizza with me, but I was entertained nonetheless. I got halfway through the pizza and realized that I was full, had heartburn, and was ready to pass out. Back to the room I went.

So when I woke up, there was half of a pizza sitting there. I just couldn’t do it, even though I wanted to. If I hadn’t had the All-inclusive plan, I would have risked it. But instead, I got out of bed and brushed my teeth, hoping to get most of the cotton out of my mouth before breakfast. A quick wash of the face and it was off to the breakfast buffet. I realized that it was after 10am already, and I was supposed to meet Harry/Surfboy at the Oasis Viva at 11am. He’d understand. So I ate my omelet inside with sunglasses on and caught some of the drunken stories floating around. Good times were had between Minnesota and Wisconsin again, and Canada got in on the action. We’ll talk about Canada later.

I chowed down relatively quickly, and headed back to the room for a quick shower. I grabbed the key, money and camera and it was off to the bus. You gotta love the bus. More on that later as well.

I arrived at the Viva and wandered into the lobby.
Not a bad looking place.


Harry had told me his room number at Slices the night before, and since I tend to remember those things before my own name when drunk, I told it to the desk clerk. He pointed to the wall phone, I dialed, and woke Harry up. Good thing I rushed to get there on time. So I waited in the lobby watching people wandering about. I saw a young couple but didn’t think much of it. Turns out that it was Shauny and Kristi, they thought it was me but weren’t sure. This was told to me later on that night.

So Harry comes down and we catch a taxi, heading for the Grand Oasis. It seems that when he arrived the day before they were full, and bumped him to the Viva for a night. Today we are supposed to get to know the insanity known as the Oasis pool area, meeting Dan and his buddy there as well. So we arrive at the Grand, pay the driver, and head inside. I’m really not feeling the need for copious amounts of alcohol, and therefore fairly unwilling to pay the $40 day pass fee. Harry and I agree that I should just wander out to the pool and see what happens. What we did not decide, however, is where to meet up if I actually pull off the stealth mission. So he goes to check in, and I wander toward the back of the lobby where I see big glass doors. Now, I had never been to the Oasis before, so I took it all in. I saw some security, but they didn’t look as threatening as advertised. So I kept one hand in my pocket, and one hand on the camera:

Oasis Grounds:




The Oasis pool area:


Some guys putting a monkey on a girl (notice security in the background):


Views from the Oasis pool deck:



It’s a nice looking place on the outside, actually.

So I smoothly negotiated my way around the pool, keeping an eye on the security guarding the beach access. I had the choice of wandering toward the pool crowd and the bars, or down to the beach. Since I didn’t want to press my luck too much, and had no idea how I would find Harry or Dan and his buddy, I decided to check out the beach scene.

Palapaville


The sun-worshipping masses



I really didn’t feel like wandering around like the tourist that I was, so I looked for a place to set up camp. I chose the American Eagle areas. It seemed to be quite popular… they were giving away stuff, had a big stage with a DJ and some guy running the contests. Even better, they had hammocks.

I found a key spot next to the well-oiled ladies on the beach, and near the stage, for the female water balloon relay…
until the masses got in the way:


Move you sorry bastards….


Well, of course they didn’t move, so I gave up my hammock and wandered a bit

More Oasis people:


I blew this one up so you can see my hammock location and surrounding scenery (you can see why these dudes decided to crash my party).
At this point, I really wasn’t thinking about where Harry and Dan were:


After watching some events and listening to some music, it was time to check out the beach. I figured I wasn’t going to find Harry or Dan (who told me later that he never made it to the Oasis anyway), so I took a stroll….

The scene looking back at the Oasis:


The beach in the other direction toward the top of the ‘7’


I decided to take a walk and check out the beach and some other hotels I had read about.

Beach volleyball at the Marriott (enjoy Claire)


Massage hut overlooking the water, could also be the Marriott


Some gorgeous beach/water pictures just because it’s Cancun




At this point, I was pretty dehydrated and looking for a way to get from the beach to the main road so I could find a drink, and then the bus back to the hotel.

I had remembered that the board had quite a few people interested in the progress of the Cancun Palace. I remembered, because I ended up right in front of it. It’s a beautiful hotel, so I decided to pay a visit and take some pictures for the eager future guests since I seem immune to security:






you can see all my pictures of the Cancun Palace here:
http://good-times.webshots.com/album...ntxNqd?start=0 enjoy!

So after taking almost 40 pictures, I wandered right though the hotel, past the front desk, out the front door, and out to Kukulcan Avenue in search of refreshments. I walked down the sidewalk quite a distance until I reached the Mall.

All I saw was a cold drink and air conditioning:


I grabbed some cold air and a Gatorade, and headed back outside to catch the bus back to the hotel. By this time it was easily past 3pm, and time for food. So back to the Carrousel I went via the always dependable public transportation. Upon returning to the hotel I realized once again that they don’t serve food between 3:30pm and 6:00pm. What’s a guy to do? I hit the beach bar and ran into a guy I’d talked to a few times before. His name: Canada. Canada talks like a robot. Really. He’s from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and works the rigs off the Pacific coast. One thing you can’t help but notice about Canada is that he uses the word ‘young’ as an adjective describing pretty much anything:

“Hey Santiago, how about another round of young cervezas for the ladies?”
“I was in the mood for a young pizza, so I ordered one.”
“He’s just a young apprentice on the rig.”

His real name is Matty, but names don’t matter in Cancun. Canada explained that his boss on one of the rigs used the ‘young’ in all his sentences, and if you didn’t reply back as such he wouldn’t understand you. I believe what he said was, “Hey Matty, hand me down a young crescent wrench!” And thus the virus spread. Canada grew famous quickly amongst us fellow guests by his outrageous stories. One that stood out told the tale of this young Canadian who picked up a girl at a party. One thing led to another and they were alone and she was ready for action. Canada says he noticed that she may have had a significant ‘adam’s apple’, but he was too drunk and the act ‘she’ was performing felt too good, so he decided to go with the moment. He said to this day he’s really not sure what gender the person was, and he really didn’t care too much. Other stories followed that I’ll spare you for now. But he did say that the night before was quite good at the Carrousel, and that he was successful in ‘smashing ass’ with the young Minnesota girls. I learned a new phrase.

Another interesting thing about Canada was the guy he traveled with from Alberta. Supposedly the guy’s initials are D.A.D. This in turn led to the nickname ‘Death and Destruction’ back home. I never did learn his real name. Death and Destruction is a very large man, quite intimidating if you didn’t know his nickname. He didn’t come out during the day much, just stayed in the room sleeping until it was time to feed him. Interesting people.

So I had drinks with Canada and some others until dinnertime, went back to the room and cleaned up a bit. I have no idea what I ate, but I’m sure it looked like meat and vegetables. Then it was back to the room for a nap to recharge.

Tonight is Mardi Gras at Pat O’Brien’s. I’m supposed to meet Harry, Dan and his buddy there at 10pm. I caught the bus around 10:05 with a bunch of new Wisconsin guys from the hotel heading to the same event. Good guys, amateurs.
So the bus arrives at Pat O’Briens and the place is lit up like Christmas:


I had never been there before so I had to stumble around a bit to get inside. But I paid my 470 pesos and wandered inside. It looked impressive, sounded good, and the ladies were certainly out. Once inside Dan and his buddy flagged my down next to the first beer stand. I got us 3 beers and we moved further into the chaos to see what was happening.

We camped out on the fringe and took in the scenery/talent.
Right in front of us was a stage with Corona girls dancing. This is always a good idea.
(thanks for the pic Dan)

You’ll notice the girl on the left holding a T-shirt. Well, every 20 minutes or so this guy would jump on stage and announce some kind of dancing and simulated sex type contest. All good of course. But after the contest he would scream ‘Who wants a T-shirt? Who wants a T-shirt?’ over and over but wouldn’t fork over the damn shirt until about 20 minutes later. I still hear that SOB in my sleep.

I went back to the beer stand to get more drinks and ran into Jason, Linz, Shauny and Kristi:
Good time for a picture:


Jason had tipped the bartender well earlier it seems, so his VIP bracelet worked wonders. Unfortunately, he only got me one beer, and I needed 3. So as those four moved away from the stand I waited for 2 more beers. By the time my no-VIP-having self received 3 beers, they were nowhere to be found. So I returned to Dan and Jim (his buddy, I just realized his name)

While camped out at this location a few ladies stumble upon us. One is flashing everything in sight for beads (I was hypnotized, so no pictures). Her friend is hammered, and the friendliest person in the place.
Dan was quite friendly as well:



They stumble away and we decided to move further into the chaos and see what else was happening. To be honest, even though there were a lot of people there, and music all around, there really wasn’t anything going on. I was quite disappointed by this Mardi Gras celebration considering the hype. It certainly didn’t hold a candle to Fat Tuesdays on Tuesday night during my last trip.

Dan took some video of the festivities (kinda dark, but you get the general idea)
click here:
http://s109.photobucket.com/albums/n...02007%20Video/

After a few more beers Dan and Jim decided to take off. Even though I wasn’t having the best time of the trip, I was determined to stick it out for a while longer. Since Dan and Jim were leaving the next morning, we said goodbye, shook hands, and they were off to the hotel. I, on the other hand, decided to check out the scene inside.

In case you’ve been in Siberia and didn’t hear, drunk women in Cancun like to do body shots, often with each other.


There are also random Silver and Gold people wandering around Cancun


note: no matter how far away you are from the silver and gold people, you WILL find silver and gold specks on your person later that night. It’s inevitable, and I don’t know how they do it.

I actually stayed until last call, and then left. I wandered down the sidewalk to the next bus stop witnessing the drunken folk peeing and puking into the lagoon every 20 feet or so. Good times.

Once on the bus, I was treated to a scene that you can only find on a bus in Cancun at 5 in the morning.
I’m sorry the video is so dark, but you’ll still laugh your ass off. Please note that this video was taken on the morning of March 15th, not December 25th:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV35eSa6U6c

Once back at the hotel, in the holiday spirit, I passed out… anticipating Thursday’s adventures.

Good times again….

[Cancun_bound]

Very nice my friend. She was a bit friendly wasn't she? Oh the things that might have been had she not disappeared into the night.

And yes, I still here "Who wants a t-shirt? Who wants a t-shirt?" ringing in my ears from time to time. Just give someone the damn t-shirt for chrissakes.

[carrie77]

Nice, Dennis!!! Thank you!

[putangie63]

great song on the bus...probably the only one they could remember

[Lisa Groves]

Keep the reports coming!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

[R.I. GAL]

Another excellent report from Dennis the King

It was well worth the wait :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[whdream]

Dennis sounds like a blast

[Carole]

Awesome report my friend.

[Zackman]

Cheeseburger in Paradise…. and a moped Pizza in Cancun.
Dennis is the Jimmy Buffett of the Mayan Riviera!
Outstanding!

BTW – Perhaps its just me, but does Jnasty look like Steve – O in that picture?

[EngineerGuy]

should have my pictures this week from linz, and i DO have my picture with steve O in the vip room, you will see we look nothing alike! haha

[Angie]

Great report Dennis ~ I can't wait to go home and see all the pics and videos.

[hw711]

Great report.

[hw711]

Originally Posted by CollegeGuY

you will see we look nothing alike! haha

Now you mentioned it..... Have you tried to picked up girls by pretending to be Steve O?

[EngineerGuy]

I look NOTHING like him, not at all!!!!!! Plus I am not even near as crazy as he is..........

[claire]

AMAZING!!! and the pictures are brilliant (thanks for the fitties! lol)

i see an american eagle sign... were they giving out those bags again?!
i shit loved them bags, still have 3!

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i want to be there!!!

[EngineerGuy]

claire they gave those bags out all day every day at the oasis! I have mine still, nice bags, reversable actually!!

[claire]

OMG really?!? were they the same ones they gave away last year?!
i love them! how many you have??? i'll kick your ass for some!

i had about 20 last year but they all got stolen but certain herd boys... grrr

[EngineerGuy]

I had a few, but traded them at the market for shot glasses, they loved them at the market, they would have given lots for them. So......... I only have 1, but rest assured, they will have more next year!

[hw711]

Originally Posted by claire

i love them! how many you have??? i'll kick your ass for some!

Kick or kiss?

[EngineerGuy]

Originally Posted by hw711

Kick or kiss?

knowing claire................ likely kick....... then kiss.................


hahaha JUST KIDDING CLAIRE YOU PARTY ANIMAL!

[Venom]

Young Dennis........that was one of the best young trip reports I have ever read in my young life!!!!!!

your doing a young great job.

cant wait for the rest of your young trip report!!!!

[Ian]

Excellent report Dennis, I think your giving Janie a run for her money here with the pictures and running comentary :lol:

Ian :lol:

[DConCT]

thanks kids, I try.

glad you enjoy my escapades.

[Greta]

Great report, Dennis.

[mitchellfam]

:lotsoflove::lotsoflove:

Thanks Dennis!!! I was needing this today...my little breakaway from reality moment satisfied.

[DConCT]

Originally Posted by mitchellfam

:lotsoflove::lotsoflove:

Thanks Dennis!!! I was needing this today...my little breakaway from reality moment satisfied.

always willing to help, T...

[the key]

Great reports. They make my work day go faster. Keep up the good work.

[DConCT]

you are all too kind..

almost makes me want to write days 6 and 7!!!

[Ant95]

dennis serious serious trip reports!!!!! keep em coming

[DConCT]

there's not much left, Ant! lol

I'll do DAY 6 and 7 together, and rest up for the next adventure