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11-29-2006, 10:13 AM
| #1 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
|  Sorry about the Creation of a p***** Joke, so heres more Sorry about the Creation of a p***** Joke Ok I will hold my hands up and say sorry for that one, I guess we have a different sense of humour over this side of the pond. This one was sent to me by mobile phone text, form a female co worker. So now I know how far to go, did not mean to offend. Daz. |
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11-29-2006, 10:14 AM
| #2 |
| CC's SB Godfather  Join Date: 15th Mar 2006 Location: connecticut, usa
Posts: 6,956
| ????? :? |
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11-29-2006, 10:15 AM
| #3 |
| Moderator  Join Date: 17th Feb 2003 Location: TX
Posts: 4,151
| It was the locked thread further down, Dennis. I never got to see it, so don't know anything of the content or how...nasty(?)...it was.
__________________ Michael F.   To all the people doing lines Don’t do it, don’t do it Inject your soul with liberty It’s free, it’s free |
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11-29-2006, 10:16 AM
| #4 |
| Moderator  Join Date: 15th Apr 2004 Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,034
| no biggy, it just crossed the line with a few of the board members so, had to be locked, but, keep posting! |
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11-29-2006, 10:18 AM
| #5 | |
| CC's SB Godfather Join Date: 15th Mar 2006 Location: connecticut, usa
Posts: 6,956
| yes, I will continue to post. right here in this meaningless thread. la la scooby doo. pickles. trip to london. cat scratch fever. that is all.
__________________  Dennis Quote:
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11-29-2006, 10:19 AM
| #6 | |
| Moderator Join Date: 15th Apr 2004 Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,034
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11-29-2006, 10:27 AM
| #7 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| DConCT It would seem that the joke upset a few people, so for that I apologize. It means I will have to hold back on the really bad ones or good ones. Daz. |
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11-29-2006, 10:29 AM
| #8 |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 26th Oct 2005 Location: Manitoba Canada
Posts: 482
| I have nothing against sexually-charged jokes, it is the use of the "p" and "c" words that I find offensive. Nothing personal against you Daz but as a woman I cannot stand those two words. Thanks for putting the warning up!
__________________ Val I am not 40-something; I am 39.95 plus shipping & handling See our Cancun pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/vrodgers |
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11-29-2006, 10:35 AM
| #9 |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 28th Mar 2005 Location: Sheffield, England .
Posts: 2,248
| Daz, PM it me... please. Ian :lol: PS. And dont worry about Jason locking your threads he gets a bit ' clicky mouse happy ' at times like that.... . :lol: He once locked one of my threads where I posted a link to me with my knob out and said it was too indecent but I reckon he was just jealous... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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11-29-2006, 10:43 AM
| #10 | |
| Moderator Join Date: 15th Apr 2004 Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,034
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11-29-2006, 10:49 AM
| #11 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| Ian You have a PM. |
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11-29-2006, 10:57 AM
| #12 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| OK Try this one. The Italian Virgin Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairylegs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot, he was missing all his toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama." Daz. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: |
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11-29-2006, 10:58 AM
| #13 | ||
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 26th Jan 2005 Location: Bristol, England
Posts: 418
| Quote:
Also got Les's pierced one on my phone!!!!! Can I be PM'ed the dirty joke?!!!!! I dont take offence to anything!!!
__________________ This party is a sausage fest!! Love all, accept all, hate none | ||
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11-29-2006, 10:58 AM
| #14 |
| Moderator Join Date: 15th Apr 2004 Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,034
| :lol: |
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11-29-2006, 10:59 AM
| #15 |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 26th Oct 2005 Location: Manitoba Canada
Posts: 482
| Oh, Mama is going to be so disappointed! Good one Daz! |
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11-29-2006, 11:00 AM
| #16 |
| Moderator Join Date: 17th Feb 2003 Location: TX
Posts: 4,151
| That one is pretty good :lol: |
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11-29-2006, 11:08 AM
| #17 |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 28th Mar 2005 Location: Sheffield, England .
Posts: 2,248
| Not a bad joke.. For a dingle land dweller :lol: :lol: :lol: Ian :lol: |
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11-29-2006, 11:15 AM
| #18 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| Ian Thanks for that!!!! kind words for a dee daa. LOL Daz. |
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11-29-2006, 11:24 AM
| #19 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| Lisa Groves You have a PM. :lol:  |
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11-29-2006, 11:25 AM
| #20 | |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 28th Mar 2005 Location: Sheffield, England .
Posts: 2,248
| Quote:
Funny man :lol: :lol: :lol: After spending 17 of my 35 years on this planet in cockney land as a kid you wont find any ' dee daa's ' eminating from my lips believe me :lol: :lol: Ian :lol:
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11-29-2006, 11:29 AM
| #21 |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 6th Jan 2005 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 2,109
| :lol: |
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11-29-2006, 11:35 AM
| #22 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| Ian. We all have our crosses to bare. LOL Daz. PS. When i get any good uns that i can't post on here, i will PM you some if you want. |
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11-29-2006, 11:41 AM
| #23 | |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 28th Mar 2005 Location: Sheffield, England .
Posts: 2,248
| Quote:
Yeah, no probs with the jokes mate, cheers. Ian :lol:
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11-29-2006, 01:00 PM
| #24 | |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 26th Jan 2005 Location: Bristol, England
Posts: 418
| Quote:
Seems you have made Ian smile - for the first time this year!!!! :wink: | |
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11-29-2006, 01:36 PM
| #25 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| If anyone else wants the Creation of a p**** Joke without editing sending by PM and is not bothered about the C and F and P word. Please ask and i will send it. Just don't be offended Its really a nice poem. lol Daz. |
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11-29-2006, 01:38 PM
| #26 |
| CC's SB Godfather Join Date: 15th Mar 2006 Location: connecticut, usa
Posts: 6,956
| He said the P word again. I'm telling mother. |
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11-29-2006, 02:36 PM
| #27 |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 4th Aug 2006 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
Posts: 3,002
| I'm curious now too.. I'd like to read that joke if you would be so kind as to PM me. |
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11-29-2006, 04:03 PM
| #28 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| 4biddenpleasrs You got a PM. |
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11-29-2006, 04:13 PM
| #29 |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 3rd Jan 2006 Location: Barnsley, England.
Posts: 208
| Ok one more. LOL The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my god!!," Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, uh......equipment?". "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??," Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted !! hahaha Daz. |
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11-29-2006, 04:18 PM
| #30 |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 26th Oct 2005 Location: Manitoba Canada
Posts: 482
| :bounce: Where are you finding all these?!? They are hilarious :bounce: |
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