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03-09-2010, 01:28 PM
| #31 | |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 24th Sep 2007 Location: Rhinebeck, New York
Posts: 3,113
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03-09-2010, 02:18 PM
| #32 |
| Cancuncare Regular  Join Date: 30th Jan 2010 Location: Montreal Quebec Canada
Posts: 232
| Wow i missed this one !!! COMMUNICATION !!! Is the key to the success in this one. While you must take baby steps and not jump for the sky on the first try ! We started the same way...slowly and with alot of communication. Also we choose our new friends very carefully. As we need to be 100 % at the same place if swapping. We need to be 100 % BOTH of us comfortable. At 75 - 100 and the other person at 100 % no good, the night is going downhill. We are alll jealous in our own minds , we can't deny that. Just to different degrees. Also this is what makes this exciting and dangerous...we like to live life on the edge. Now that said, the males need to hit it off also. We must bond as i can't see myself letting my wife go with just any guy even if his wife is Bo Derek. So if the guy is a complete idiot or chemistry is not there ...it''s not happening. True story one time a guy goes up to my wife starts hitting on her and he expects me to be comfortable with all this going on....don't think so...talk to me first and then i'll let you know if you're good enough for her. End of the story he never had a chance .... But everytime before , during, and after we communicate the likes dislikes etc...so we can better our experiences and continue our growth in this quite invigourating experience. And also we don't swing with everyone we also are soft on occasion. We are also very respective of the people we encounter while all have thier own limits and some limits are a plain no we don't swing. Fine but we can still be friends....haven't met many people who don't have the topic of sex far in thier minds...loll we all love to do it and some love to watch and some love to participate. to each thier own....but boy is life beautiful !!!! |
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07-27-2010, 11:03 AM
| #33 |
| Cancuncare Newbie Join Date: 18th Jul 2010 Location: Illinois
Posts: 8
| Sharon and I are co-hosts at a rather large swingers club in our area, so we see all types of swingers, and we pay special attention to nervous first-timers, helping them deal with their concerns and expectations. The key to success is, as stated above, a strong relationship based on good, honest communication. When we first started swinging, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find another couple to play with ... we're much more mellow about it now. That said, we are hoping to make new friends Aug 1 - 4. |
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07-27-2010, 10:09 PM
| #34 | |
| Cancuncare Guru  Join Date: 29th Dec 2003 Location: Phx AZ
Posts: 791
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07-28-2010, 06:55 AM
| #35 |
| Cancuncare Regular  Join Date: 28th May 2010 Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 184
| Great to hear that so many others are as picky as we are. Couples must be attractive in so many ways - physically, of course, but also their relationship with EACH OTHER must be appealing, their ability to hold an intelligent conversation, be fun and know how to have fun, no pouting or jealousy, proper spelling and grammar, etc etc etc. J/K about that last one. Mostly. LOL Oh, and they must be good kissers, too. 
__________________ -Lora & Darrin  |
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10-19-2010, 07:37 PM
| #36 |
| Cancuncare Enthusiast  Join Date: 8th Aug 2010 Location: nj
Posts: 34
| what if she just wants a female for herself or us together and no males. is it still "swinging" if its not a couple on couple swap? |
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10-19-2010, 07:52 PM
| #37 | |
| Cancuncare Addict  Join Date: 15th Oct 2010 Location: Labrador City, NL, Canada
Posts: 482
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Excellent question, we would also like to know the answer to this... the wife always said one dick is enough!
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10-19-2010, 08:10 PM
| #38 | |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 12th Mar 2010 Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 1,220
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Maybe when the wife said "one dick is enough" she was referring to you hogging the remote and not helping with the dishes...lol
__________________ (Partydollgirl's Hubby) April 10 - 24, 2011 !!! | |
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10-19-2010, 08:19 PM
| #39 | |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 15th Oct 2010 Location: Labrador City, NL, Canada
Posts: 482
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10-19-2010, 09:01 PM
| #40 | |
| I can choose my own title Join Date: 12th Mar 2010 Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 1,220
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__________________ (Partydollgirl's Hubby) April 10 - 24, 2011 !!! | |
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10-19-2010, 09:06 PM
| #41 | |
| Cancuncare Addict Join Date: 15th Oct 2010 Location: Labrador City, NL, Canada
Posts: 482
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10-19-2010, 10:34 PM
| #42 | |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 27th Aug 2010
Posts: 244
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10-20-2010, 06:29 AM
| #43 | |
| Cancuncare Guru  Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
| I have had this discussion MANY times with Mindi when we first started to explore...sharing another woman is great and many of us' dream. The unicorn ya know, however, if the female is asking for another woman because she is bi, but not letting the other (male) half join the fun, we personally believe there is an issue. AND, how is it fair to the male half??? Discuss... Quote:
__________________ Bill & Mindi We weren't put here for a long time. We were put here for a good time. [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...4f5f/event.png[img] | |
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10-20-2010, 06:43 AM
| #44 | |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 27th Aug 2010
Posts: 244
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10-20-2010, 10:01 AM
| #45 | |
| Cancuncare Regular  Join Date: 4th Nov 2009
Posts: 176
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10-20-2010, 10:02 AM
| #46 | |
| Cancuncare Regular Join Date: 28th May 2010 Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 184
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__________________ -Lora & Darrin | |
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10-20-2010, 10:23 AM
| #47 |
| Cancuncare Enthusiast  Join Date: 28th Sep 2010 Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 16
| That's what we say "Lifestyle couple..." We enjoy meeting like mind couples and singles for friendship first foremost and if nothing else happens then you have meet new friends. Chemisty is so important when meeting people because everyone is different with their likes and dislikes, so we are never offended if someone feels there is not a match and we expect the same from others. Starting out in the lifesty is like a new relationship you must take small steps so everyone feels comfortable with the situation they are in... We have been married for 28 years and and we are soulmates and best of friends. Linda & Tim |
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10-20-2010, 12:25 PM
| #48 |
| Cancuncare Enthusiast Join Date: 21st Dec 2009 Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 63
| COMMUNICATION and self-esteem. Both partners MUST feel confident in themselves and their relationship. If you're worried about your partners thoughts or intentions you haven't discussed the issue thoroughly. Being in the "Lifestyle" is a great way express those fantasies that I'm sure most couples have. We approach our endeavors as a couple and expect couple participation. Most times that means mwmw but on RARE occassion there's the mww. We''ve been in the lifestyle for about 4 years and enjoy "soft-swapping". Maybe some day we'll expand our play but for now that is what we BOTH enjoy. |
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10-20-2010, 03:03 PM
| #49 | |
| Cancuncare Guru Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
| If YOURE into that, thats cool. Doesnt have to mean everyone is...  Quote:
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10-20-2010, 03:05 PM
| #50 | |
| Cancuncare Guru Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
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10-20-2010, 03:07 PM
| #51 |
| Cancuncare Guru Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
| ...and I certainly did not mean Mindi has asked for FF ONLY...we have seen it however and it is VERY awkward when another female of a couple asks for FF or MFF play...leaving HER other half to be the perv in the corner...
__________________ Bill & Mindi We weren't put here for a long time. We were put here for a good time. [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...4f5f/event.png[img] |
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10-20-2010, 04:38 PM
| #52 | |
| Cancuncare Addict  Join Date: 17th Feb 2010
Posts: 430
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Is it true or not, though, that if you meet another couple who isn't in to the lifestyle, it immediately dampens the relationship to the point where further interaction is discouraged?? I feel that way. | |
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10-20-2010, 05:45 PM
| #53 |
| Cancuncare Enthusiast Join Date: 8th Aug 2010 Location: nj
Posts: 34
| wow.. lol - didnt mean to start something! first let me say i dont want to offend any of the couples, especially the male half, that are into this. in no way was it meant to be against you, just an honest question. second, like as stated by others, she prefers just one guy, and it has nothing to do with me at all. she is bi and has been with women before, we have even talked about my participation in the future, but she has no interest in more "dick" - lol - let alone enough for mine. HA! just joking. lastly, i agree its a lifestyle choice built on communication and trust, every couple is different, yada yada yada, we were just wondering if we would be considered swingers, poly or anything.. not that labels matter, just making conversation.. and apparently a huge one at that! lol |
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10-21-2010, 04:47 AM
| #54 |
| Cancuncare Guru Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
| No...You didnt offend us anyway. We were simply offering experience and advise we have seen and heard...we communicate EVERYTHING. That is why we have the marriage and friendship we have.
__________________ Bill & Mindi We weren't put here for a long time. We were put here for a good time. [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...4f5f/event.png[img] |
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10-21-2010, 09:10 AM
| #55 | |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 25th Mar 2004 Location: south wales
Posts: 2,501
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We come as a couple and play as a couple because even if it's just the F's play the M's can still play with thier own partners. If you haven't got enough respect for the other couple then you don't deserve to play with them xxx | |
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10-21-2010, 10:07 AM
| #56 |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 4th Aug 2006 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
Posts: 3,002
| Once again I think you people have proven that lifestyle people are some of the most respectful people on the planet. *L* Everyone with a different opinion on how they like things and no one telling the other that they're wrong. One more reason why I love this board....... 90% of people are respectful of others.   |
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10-21-2010, 11:04 AM
| #57 |
| I can choose my own title  Join Date: 30th Aug 2010 Location: SOUTH TEXAS
Posts: 1,392
| Jess and I are in the same boat. We have to have a natural attraction to the other couple. Respect is the big thing for us. It is right up there with physical attraction. We have not met a rude, loud, obnoxious, or any other foul means of attitude from anyone in the lifestyle. We are not an "easy lay" per say. This is an awesome thread. Monique, how was your trip in september? we missed you by a day.
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10-21-2010, 12:52 PM
| #58 | |
| Cancuncare Guru Join Date: 28th Nov 2009 Location: Annville, Pa
Posts: 528
| Once again, very well put. The knowledge of the swingers is endless...    Quote:
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10-21-2010, 06:04 PM
| #59 |
| Cancuncare Enthusiast Join Date: 21st Dec 2009 Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 63
|  I thoroughly enjoy this forum and the opportunity it affords in becoming acquianted with the hopes of one day partying with some (if not all) that we meet in here. Yes, "Lifestylers" usually have the sense of respect that's necessary to be involved as a couple. We have always found that the intial "meet-n-greet" is sufficient enough for us in determining if the other couple is on the same page as us. We have ran into those that are a bit more aggressive or one or the other is seeking more. When we've encountered this we simly apply the "No means No" rule. |
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03-30-2011, 12:54 PM
| #60 | |
| Cancuncare Regular  Join Date: 2nd Mar 2011 Location: South of Boston
Posts: 122
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This is an old post but this is so dead on... | |
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