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Old 02-09-2010, 09:36 AM   #1
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Default Swinging for the first time ?

We have been wondering this for some time now ...the first time you as a couple swung..swang...swinged (Im not sure the correct term ...) How uncomfortable was it for the females and was it a closed door session or was it in same room more so "group oriented"
It would seem to me the ladies would be very concerned about their partner not comming home for dinner aftewards
Just curious for no particular reason ...really

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Old 02-09-2010, 10:07 AM   #2
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It takes a VERY strong person AND couple to swing. Every one of us who do it, have our own opinions and feelings about same room or separate room. If your partner is worried you may not be coming home for dinner, DONT do it. Youre not ready. That is our opinion. I think others would agree. Some people get turned on seeing their partner having a good time and being/giving pleasure(d). At the end of the day, its about sex, the strange, the tabu. If youre hung up about someone being bigger or better or more attractive, its probably not time for you to delve into that venture...
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Old 02-09-2010, 10:36 AM   #3
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It takes a VERY strong person AND couple to swing. Every one of us who do it, have our own opinions and feelings about same room or separate room. If your partner is worried you may not be coming home for dinner, DONT do it. Youre not ready. That is our opinion. I think others would agree. Some people get turned on seeing their partner having a good time and being/giving pleasure(d). At the end of the day, its about sex, the strange, the tabu. If youre hung up about someone being bigger or better or more attractive, its probably not time for you to delve into that venture...
Well said Bill and Mindi
We are absolute soul mates in life and couldnt love each other more...But any way we look at it seems like a huge step for the ladies of the relationship. I am a firm believer there is " Making Love" and then there is just plain sex and both have their place and time.

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Old 02-09-2010, 01:22 PM   #4
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You just have to remember, and as I said earlier, (AND, Im sure EVERY swinger would agree) the women are BOSS in that situation. NO ifs ands or buts about it...its a huge step for BOTH. And to be honest, we have seen a few couples have a hard time with it, first and second hand, the MEN seem to deal with it worse...
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Old 02-09-2010, 01:34 PM   #5
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Baby steps. Keep pushing the envelope a little and see what you are comfortable with and what turns you on and off. If it's good, do it again and a little more. If it's bad, then talk about it openly and honestly. If you want to try it again in a different way, then discuss it prior to trying it. And again after. Before you ever actually have sex with somebody else, you should have been having lots of conversations and other experiences. Don't swing for the fences the first time. See what 1st, 2nd and 3rd bases are like first.

The big thing about cheating is that it's cheating! It's dishonest, disrespectful, sneaky, and makes your partner feel inadequate or discarded. Swinging is none of those things. It's honest, full of communication and respect for your partner, open and upfront and it can make both partners feel very sexual and desirable. If it feels like cheating, it probably is. Swinging is the opposite of cheating.

Never do anything behind the other one's back. Always respect your partner.
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Old 02-09-2010, 01:48 PM   #6
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It couldnt have been said any better...
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Old 02-09-2010, 02:26 PM   #7
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You just have to remember, and as I said earlier, (AND, Im sure EVERY swinger would agree) the women are BOSS in that situation. NO ifs ands or buts about it...its a huge step for BOTH. And to be honest, we have seen a few couples have a hard time with it, first and second hand, the MEN seem to deal with it worse...
Women are always boss lol. Totally agree it's not just a big step for the woman it's massive for the men as well... If you can't make a difference between making love and just having sex then you can't swing end of.
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Old 02-09-2010, 02:28 PM   #8
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We have been wondering this for some time now ...the first time you as a couple swung..swang...swinged (Im not sure the correct term ...) How uncomfortable was it for the females and was it a closed door session or was it in same room more so "group oriented"
It would seem to me the ladies would be very concerned about their partner not comming home for dinner aftewards
Just curious for no particular reason ...really

Steve and Connie

If you think it may be"uncomfortable for the female" then the female clearly doesn't want to swing....

Why would only the female be worried about the man not coming home???? Let's face it, us women are great lol...I think it's the man who should be worried.....
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Old 02-09-2010, 06:40 PM   #9
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If you think it may be"uncomfortable for the female" then the female clearly doesn't want to swing....

Why would only the female be worried about the man not coming home???? Let's face it, us women are great lol...I think it's the man who should be worried.....
Lynfa you rock girlfriend lol xox. Two women together - the men should be worried lol - jusy kidding Les - well maybe xo
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Old 02-09-2010, 07:42 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by stevenf View Post
We have been wondering this for some time now ...the first time you as a couple swung..swang...swinged (Im not sure the correct term ...) How uncomfortable was it for the females and was it a closed door session or was it in same room more so "group oriented"
It would seem to me the ladies would be very concerned about their partner not comming home for dinner aftewards
Just curious for no particular reason ...really

Steve and Connie
A scenario typically seen is the following: partner (usually male driver) introduces the idea, partner goes along with it, the deed is done : ............. Now here comes the issue ;( alot of times there is role reversal where after the deed is done the driving partner may decide this is not for themselves (multiple reasons) and then the other partners decides that no....they really likes it (esp females that are Bi curious)....and wants to stay in it........AKA SHIT I OPENED PANDORAS BOX!!!!!!!!! ............ So then it can go one of two ways, 1. Unwilling partner can struggle with it and eventually destroys relationship or 2. unwilling partner can explore why they struggle with it and need to realize that love and sex are completely different and accept that. It's called the "learning curve" and every good "hobby" relationship goes through it in some form and the only way to get through it is called "COMMUNICATION"

If you are ever in doubt about your existing relationship and how you handle things together ..................then this is probably one box you really do not want to open!
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Old 02-10-2010, 01:14 AM   #11
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Lynfa you rock girlfriend lol xox. Two women together - the men should be worried lol - jusy kidding Les - well maybe xo
Ha ha sssooooo true.... I'm now smiling on the train to work, which I can assure you doesn't happen very often lol
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Old 02-10-2010, 06:37 AM   #12
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Ha ha sssooooo true.... I'm now smiling on the train to work, which I can assure you doesn't happen very often lol
glad i could help lol, i'll have to try and make you smile sum more lol xo
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:00 AM   #13
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Well this is some really great insight you all have provided and I think the idea of the women in control and in charge is a fantastic idea... In fact, That in itself would help reduce the anxiety , ease the tension and uncertainties. I beleive the social pressures of what society feels is right and wrong play a huge factor in a couples decision to engage in extra curicular activities. In the last 5 years we have learned to ignore what people think and do what we want and what we feel is right (But thats another story on the river bank).
Baby steps seem right and thats why we love TTR just for the atmosphere and great people. No pressures and good fun
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Old 02-10-2010, 10:35 PM   #14
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Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh The girl in charge..........always knew I was boss......did he really think any different.
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:19 AM   #15
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glad i could help lol, i'll have to try and make you smile sum more lol xo
Beck, are you and Lynfa flirting? You two need to get a room (with some toys and a camera lol). xXXXX
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:23 AM   #16
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I (les) couldn't agree more with the woman being in charge. Her opinion is worth more than mine at times because if we meet a full swing couple she has to have an attraction to both people where as I only need to fancy the woman lol.
There are those out there who will sleep with anyone but thank god I have a very sexy wife who has great taste pmsl xxx
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Old 02-12-2010, 05:15 PM   #17
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Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh The girl in charge..........always knew I was boss......did he really think any different.
Speaking of which...planning on using the rain day chit this year?
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Old 02-12-2010, 05:20 PM   #18
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Beck, are you and Lynfa flirting? You two need to get a room (with some toys and a camera lol). xXXXX
Of course we are lol, gotta practice till we have the real thing lol
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Old 02-12-2010, 07:16 PM   #19
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Speaking of which...planning on using the rain day chit this year?
Sorry Scott and Jan were headed to Temptations this year. Lol so gonna miss my naked butt this year.. Are you headed there with you know who.
Monique
Bet your glad this wasn't Glenn. Lol Gonna miss his naked butt this year too.
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Old 02-13-2010, 03:33 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by us2933
Beck, are you and Lynfa flirting? You two need to get a room (with some toys and a camera lol). xXXXX
Of course we are lol, gotta practice till we have the real thing lol

God I (les) can see you and Lynfa being such teasers lol x
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Old 02-13-2010, 09:21 AM   #21
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Sorry Scott and Jan were headed to Temptations this year. Lol so gonna miss my naked butt this year.. Are you head there with you know who.
Monique
Bet your glad this wasn't Glenn. Lol Gonna miss his naked butt this year too.
We are hoping...if not, heading to TTR Aug/Sep. Hoping for both trips but... I hate buts, but they happen, lol.

If Glenn, wants to "miss" my naked butt, I'll take it as a compliment

Scott
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Old 02-13-2010, 11:58 AM   #22
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We are hoping...if not, heading to TTR Aug/Sep. Hoping for both trips but... I hate buts, but they happen, lol.

If Glenn, wants to "miss" my naked butt, I'll take it as a compliment

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Who are you guys talking about
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Old 02-13-2010, 06:21 PM   #23
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Who are you guys talking about
LOL Dave keeping your secret hahaha.
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Old 02-16-2010, 01:23 AM   #24
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We'll be swinging tonight with a new couple and it still feels as exciting and nerve racking as the first time which keeps it's fresh. Never become complacent about swinging and don't fall into the 'your swingers and we're swingers so we must have sex' trap. You'd be suprised the amount of people who go really funny with us because we won't swing with them, this has happened whilst at TTR.
At the end of the day 'why would you want to have sex with someone your not attracted to'?
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Old 02-16-2010, 10:01 AM   #25
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Every couple has thier own version of swinging. Hopefully the couples that play have been open and honest with each other before anything happens.

We tend to be situational swingers and don't plan meetings and often don't swing with the same couple again. So we are going to Desire again this year in May. We will sure miss a lot of you and still have not booked the air so there is still a possiblility of a few nights at TTR.

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Old 02-16-2010, 09:12 PM   #26
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We'll be swinging tonight with a new couple and it still feels as exciting and nerve racking as the first time which keeps it's fresh. Never become complacent about swinging and don't fall into the 'your swingers and we're swingers so we must have sex' trap. You'd be suprised the amount of people who go really funny with us because we won't swing with them, this has happened whilst at TTR.
At the end of the day 'why would you want to have sex with someone your not attracted to'?
Da!!!!!!!! CANNOT AGREE MORE y would anyone have sex if there is no attraction swinger or not!!
Glenn
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Old 02-17-2010, 02:18 AM   #27
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OOOOO had an amazing night last night. Roll on Thursday night xxx
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Couples were made for sharing xxx

BBG April 2004 / BBG May 2005
TTR September 2009
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Old 02-17-2010, 07:27 AM   #28
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Who are you guys talking about
Not too sure But hope we can make it, lol.
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Old 02-18-2010, 09:39 PM   #29
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Maybe we'll see you in september............might need a second trip to Cancun for my bday.
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:19 PM   #30
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100 % agree ! While we do know a number of swing friends we actually are very selective (no one takes a hit for the team for anything) You would not believe the people who get just PISSY when you drop the hint that "hey your cool to have a drink with but that's all" Insecurity is an ugly thing that alot of people have trouble dealing with.
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