Big Sexy Trip Report Multi resort – Oasis Sens w/ HnH crew, one night at Golden Parnassus First of all, thanks to all the HnH group who included us in their party at the Oasis sens. Despite some of the limitations of the resort, the people made the party at the Sens. There were a few high points with the resort, a number of technical issues with Oasis Sens (when I was thinking about this trip report, I thought that as soon as they finish the remodeling and reconstruction at TTR, those construction crews need to bring their bulldozers down to Oasis Sens and start a wholesale rehab of that resort, which I will explain in detail later), but as the saying goes “ an average day on vacation will always exceed a great day at work”, lol. We arrived at the Oasis Sens around noon on Saturday, and our room was not yet ready. This wasn’t a surprise, as usually the same held true when we visited TTR and arrived around that time. We had an abbreviated version of their timeshare pitch (oh, you’re premier members with original? Ok, no problem. Your room will be ready later), and we used the lobby bathroom to change into swimsuits. We then made our way to the pool area, where 90% of the guests were TTR exiles. It was pretty clear that the resort was not very full (which raised a question regarding why the room was not available), but we saw some familiar faces and made a couple rounds. This was when we noticed the first of what I would call a “logistical challenge”. There is a pool bar, swim up style, but it is in a separate pool over a wall from the main pool. To reach it you have to exit the pool, walk down around up and down two sets of steps, then the same when returning to the lower pool. It was not very friendly for potentially drunk people. The second bar is out at the far end from the pool, but it was sparsely staffed and sparsely stocked. They had a friendly bartender there, but he was overworked. The third bar is down at the beach but twice when I visited it there was no bartender there despite it being wide open and stocked, in fact at one point a guest actually started pouring their own drinks, lol. The same thing happened one day at the aforementioned pool bar. So, if there was a deficit here I attribute it to the fact that they are at low staffing due to low season. Without the HnH crowd the resort would have been empty, so as a business person I understand it. Overall we had a good time at the pool, met and made some new friends then went over to the second pool for the foam party. The foam party was a highlight of Saturday, particularly as we had the opportunity to meet Jim and Tabitha. Despite the fact that they are PSU fans, we had a great time hanging with them and Aaron and Heidi the rest of the week. The foam party was operated using a suspended foam machine, on a pulley system, a very interesting innovation. The TTR foam party usually needed a spray from one corner, this unit was suspended from over the middle of the pool, making fun and even foam distribution. We spent most of the rest of the day there at the foam party before retiring for shower and dinner. We had dinner at the Mexican restaurant, one of three couples in there. The portions were small, although the food was good. Soups and salads were ala-carte on a buffet, and were good. Service was spotty, which I again attribute to staffing levels. They had a hard time keeping my water glass full. Still, the food was good and we enjoyed. We participated briefly in that night’s theme but retired around 1am to get ready for the boobs cruise Sunday. Sunday morning came and it was time for the Boobs Cruise, always a highlight of the week. Before leaving we decided to hit the breakfast buffet, another logistical challenge in the resort. The Buffet restaurant is down three flights of stairs. The selection was good, with plenty of bacon and options. Everything was maple flavored (bacon, pancakes, French toast, etc) and they actually had scrambled egg whites as well. Very good selection. Still, the service was an issue as they did not have enough staff to handle the number of guests. Again, couldn’t either keep a water glass full or in some cases get one. We finished breakfast and headed to the lobby to catch the bus to the Dock. This was billed as the “last boobs cruise of 2016” although if enough people show interest for a particular week Steve will add one, but it will require advance notice of a month or so. Steve rented a bus to transport everyone to the dock, and not only was the bus filled but so were two USA transfer vans. We drove down the embankment from the OASIS Sens (the resort entrance is the equivalent of the third floor). There were some (most, lol) razor thin margins where we barely moved past some parked cars ( inches away) and a collective sigh of relief coupled with a round of applause for the driver. We then took the 16 KM trip down to the dock (and the former TTR/ construction site) as we approached the reality of no TTR hit everyone on the bus. A collective groan came across the bus, and quite a few “ooh’s and aah’s” as it sank in that the old is on its way to becoming new again. It is also a whole lot different seeing it in person. It’s almost like seeing someone that you knew well that has had an amputation. We walked down the dock and I was commenting that I wish I would’ve got an apple when I was there early September. Sure enough, what do I see but an apple sitting laughing at me through the window. I’ll come back top that later, but we proceeded to check into the boobs cruise. The cruise was epic as usual, with no running buffet’s but a few individual meals served all the same, lol. Lunch and games on the island were great, and we drank steadily on the boat and off. Chinos, Sara and Omar provided a great experience including a “close encounter” with the Mexican navy. We made our way back to the dock, again with a view of TTR this time from the water and the “blue wall” of construction. We disembarked the boat and walked down to the end of the dock to wait for the bus back to Oasis Sens. This is when the fun began. I had decided to “procure” an apple, and talked to the security staff. Through some negotiation and conversations with a couple people, I became the proud new parent of an apple. A couple more apples ended up escaping that day and the next, and are in their new happy homes. We boarded the bus and made our way back to OASIS, saying good bye to the TTR site until we return to Cancun in the spring. We will take a pilgrimage there whenever we go south of the border. Dinner that night was the Italian, which had the best portions and a lasagna that was the equal to the TTR lasagna. Service was the same story, not terrible but not great. Following dinner that night was anything but clothes night and a fun time. We had a walking box of fireball, and many other variations on ABC. All in all a very fun night to wrap up the Boobs cruise day. Monday was Halloween, and a very fun pool day, with my inflatable floating cooler and many cans of AIWC in play in the pool. We had lunch at the poolside snack bar, food was good but took a while to get and very understaffed. They only serve water and beer at this restaurant, no liquor. Still, like most days the company made up for the deficits. We ended up staying at the pool till about six, then went up to get ready for dinner and the Halloween show. The resort offered a buffet dinner (probably the best service, selections, portions, and options for the week) and a show that night, and everyone was in costumes. We had several costumes that perfectly fit the HnH theme, several devils and devilesses, a few romans and gladiators, super heroes, and even a creepy as F*** clown. Around the end of dinner and the show the sky opened up and the party was moved into the Kinky Night club. The air was off initially but we managed to get the air on and the Halloween show and costume contest continued. The ultimate winner was the “snake charmer”, although many of the costumes were simply excellent, including medusa, Beetlejuice, village people, mariachi, etc. great party, great music, great time overall. There was a general lack of late night food, and the resort charged a fee for delivery of room service. We left for our one day at Golden Parnassus on Tuesday morning but before I go into the 2 hours we spent there, let me give my summary on Oasis Sens: 1. The HNH crew made the place fun and a great time. 2. As a resort, they have some serious facilities issues, including plumbing, leaking pipes, etc. our room worked fine but there are clearly repairs that they are c/hasing – icing on burnt cake comes to mind 3. Bathrooms at the pool need some revision 4. Service is a clear and present issue at Sens, as the staff don’t seem very happy. We are used to a reasonably happy staff at TTR, so it’s possible that our view is a little jaded. That said, as I will describe below while at GP the staff was on point with the TTR staff demeanor we are used to 5. The resort was clearly not prepared to handle this number of people at this time, but did their best. As usual the almighty dollar speaks volumes and tipping well accelerated service as the staff is clearly not accustomed to tipping like this. Now, on to the experience at GP…. We took a cab down to GP from Oasis, only about 5 KM down the hotel zone. We arrived there at 1230 or so, and were immediately greeted at the entrance by the check in agent. This was totally different than our experience at Oasis, and a pleasant surprise. We had booked a lagoon view, and were offered an ocean view for and additional $30. As we were there for one night we jumped on that, and our room was immediately available. We went to the room, got changed, and took a walk around the resort to get the lay of the land. GP has a “TTR feel” as far as the facilities go, an older but well maintained resort. We popped into the lunch buffet, and received what I call “ttr level service”, fast, kept our drink glasses full, and seemed happy. The buffet had good selection and we enjoyed it. We spent the rest of the day in the pool and at the tiki bar, where a number of body shots happened and we met a few new friends as well. We retired to the room around 7 to get ready for dinner. GP has 8 restaurants and since we had not had a steakhouse dinner this trip we decided to try the “old barn” . BEST STEAK DINNER I HAVE EVER HAD IN MEXICO! Appetizers, huge baked potato,, bread, everything. Simply amazing.. That night was Karaoke night in the sixties bar, and was a damn fine time, albeit wrapping up early. We ended up wishing we had another day at GP to see if the trend would continue, although we did have a chance to meet a few other TTR refugees, or people who would’ve visited TTR had it been open, and chose GP as a substitute. I did recruit them to CCC and hoe to see them next year at the grand reopening. In summary of Golden Parnassus 1. Excellent service 2. It “felt” like ttr, from a facilities and features standpoint 3. The nightlife was a little tame, and clearly wrapped up early 4. Theme nights like we had at Sens would not have flown there 5. The Tiki bar is fun, and fonzi is an AMAZING bartender, one of the best I’ve ever seen! 6. In a head to head comparison, GP beats Oasis with no big group going. If you want a nice resort to party at during the day, then maybe hit the clubs uptown at night, GP would be the place. The lack of nightlife is an issue but not insurmountable. If you have a bug enough group you can have a blast there I am positive. 7. There are no facilities issues at GP, despite it clearly being just as old if not older than Oasis. Overall, bit fun places, and we enjoyed the hell out of everyone we met. Even those who we didn’t get much time to speak with, we enjoyed your costumes and company, and hope to join you again next year at the new and improved TTR. We have already actually booked, a sneak preview weekend 9/15-9/17 2017, and for the HNH 10/29-11/3 2017. Hopefully we can arrange some additional reunions like the one in Toronto next weekend between now and then, and fill our time with our favorite people in the world, even if our favorite place is not available. Until we all meet again!