After being back from TTR for 2 days, I officially have the disease known as the post TTR vacation blues. To make it worse, it's been raining here most of the day in Fort Worth so I was stuck inside. And now I get to go back to work tomorrow and be severely overdressed. Without further ado, here is my very long first time trip report. Names are left out to protect the innocent and mainly because I'm horrible at names. Monday - Day started at 6am since I needed to mow and we had to do all our last minute preparations before leaving on the 12:30 flight from DFW. Routine flight and actually made it pretty quick through customs. We used USA Transfers and they told us to keep walking and avoid all the people and they would be outside waiting for us. With both of us knowing this before hand, I knew to ignore all the people trying to flag us down. Didn't work so well for the wifie. Guy flagged us down and asked if we needed a ride to the hotel. Told him no we had USA Transfers and we were headed to them. He said he worked for the airport and he'd tell us where to go. I said OK and kept walking towards the outside door. Sweet wifie didn't follow. She just knew that we needed to listen to him. And wouldn't you know it, we were hit by our first time share seller. He wanted us to spend a day looking at their resort that had 1 of the 3 buildings built. We are only here for 5 days. Not missing a day at TTR to look at a half built resort. Finally get to the resort and after checking in the front desk said we needed to see the concierge. And now we have had our second sales push in one day. Best thing about it was we got a brochure that had all the times that everything was open. So not a complete loss. Dropped off the bags in the room and then hit sexy pool and grabbed some drinks. After dinner, hit Paty Os for the party. We stayed for about 10 minutes. We were tired and wanted to just relax in a pool. Hit the quite pool hot tub and just relaxed with some drinks. After relaxing there, we went back to the room and slept. It had been a long day and we knew we had plenty more time to party. Tuesday - Hit the sexy pool again to watch the activities. Played tequila volleyball and had a good time. Of the activities, my wife's favorite was when the loser of the team captain arm wrestling had to helicopter. She laughed really hard over that. A nice relaxing day. Talked to lots of nice people and really felt at home and relaxed. Wednesday - Another day of hitting the sexy pool to watch the activities. Ms. Temptation contest was this day. I gave up my shorts. Who could say no to a beautiful topless lady asking you to give her your shorts. As most of you know, since I gave up my shorts I was "allowed" to stand up naked for everyone to see and then "allowed" to walk naked and pick up my bathing suit from the hot tub. I had now been officially initiated into the TTR family. After lunch we had gone back to the room to change. We were laying in the bed naked (not having sex for once) and the maid walked in on us to restock the fridge. After me being naked in the pool and the maid seeing her naked, the sweet wifie decided she would go topless for the first time that afternoon. One of the goals for the trip accomplished. Later that afternoon while we were in the hot tub, a creeper started taking photos of some of the women the hot tub next to us. I had gone to the bar to get drinks and missed all of this. A group of ladies caught him and they got his camera and deleted the pics. He was told not to do it again. You can miss a lot when you go get drinks and then start talking to people. Fortunately, we never saw him again. Unfortunately, this episode nearly caused the sweet wifie to not want to go topless again. Some people have to try and ruin a perfect vacation. Good news was that she did go topless again the next day so all was not lost. Another nice relaxing night to end the day. Thursday - Another day at the sexy pool to watch the activities and JJ talked me into entering the belly flop contest. Personally, I believe that I worked the crowd better than anyone else in the contest. On my first round, I told them that I needed Jules and Roxy to go topless for me to win the contest. Jules got topless and Roxy would only show her ass. Was in second place after my first flop. Not sure how I didn't see it coming, but the second round you had to do it naked to get bonus points. Working the crowd, I got two women to get completely naked and one of them to stand up by the bar for all to see. After that, it was hard for me not to do the second flop naked. Standing up there naked I realized I was really high up there and the first flop really fucking hurt. This is probably why I kinda chickened out at the last second and didn't have a good belly flop. Still getting a beautiful lady naked for the crowd should have gotten me more points than it did. Still I finished second and had a good time. Played naked tequila volleyball that afternoon. Since everyone had already seen me naked that day, what was one more time. We outnumbered the staff 12-6 and got beat in two straight games. Laying on the ground naked with your hands beside you while getting ice water dumped on you isn't fun. The foam party after naked tequila volleyball was a lot of fun. Word of caution, short people can get lost in all the foam. When I had left the room to go play volleyball, my sweet wifie decided to stay in the room for a few minutes and come down to the sports pool later. She decided to watch some tv and while flipping through the channels she came up to the porn channels. It was showing scat porn. She "claimed" that she had to keep pressing the button multiple times before it changed the channel. So she was a little devastated over this episode. While waiting for dinner we were at the quiet pool bar having drinks and we were talking to this gay couple. The loved it and would come back, but he said that, "There are just too many boobs." This is a comment I would never make. Another quite night. Friday - Sad times because this was our last day. Hit the sexy pool for about a hour before heading back to the room to shower and take the bags to the front. Mistake of having a later flight on they way back. We were fully dressed for the flight back and sitting around the pool for 2 hours before we were picked up by USA Transfers at 1. Hated that we missed the Boobs Cruise. Heard a few crazy stories about the one the Sunday before. We will absolutely hit one next time. Next trip will be 9 days 8 nights so that we make sure that we will get one in. Never saw an elusive balcony show. We couldn't put one on since we were on the first floor and in the 5400 building. We did have sex with the blinds open all the time, but since we were way in the back corner, I'm sure no one got to enjoy the show. Hopefully next time we will get a better room. I know that we didn't hit all the night time parties, but when you have a 5 and 6 year old, vacations are for catching up on sleep and sex. This vacation delivered on both accounts. Will start researching dates and prices to go again. Probably next June trying to improve on my second place finish in the belly flop contest. Hopefully I wasn't too long winded for you. Looking forward to my next trip to TTR.