Since FalseAmazon wasn’t the name I gave all that much it’d probably help to introduce ourselves by what everyone else called us- Heather & John (rarely), The Newlyweds (the popular choice), or Coors Light! (for John’s hat, usually when he was wading back to the group with a stack of shots...) All the first timer reports were a huge help before we left on our trip, so I figured I’d better pay the favor forward. Friday the 13th was our first day but no superstition here, I was far too excited about TTR! We arrived in Cancun around 11, and took the Lomas shuttle to the hotel. The reason we didn’t book USA Transfers was because it was included in our vacation package. Truthfully, it wasn’t bad at all- only two other couples to drop off and we got to see quite a bit of the hotel zone. (A very good thing since we didn’t actually leave the resort except for Isla Mujeres!) We had done what everyone had suggested and packed the swimsuits in an easy to get to compartment but our room was ready for us when we got there (12ish?). Tried to get past the timeshare people but got snagged. Our guy was flat out rude when I refused to spend 2 hours the next day getting the tour/sales pitch. Made it to our rooms (5313, right next to Rex & Kris!) It did feel a bit like an Escher painting as we were getting there, but it was a very cute room with the all important two showerheads! (so many nights after PatyO’s/sport pool were spent sitting under them...) Boring view, but who cares about the view from your room when you have the Sexy Pool views? Our fridge only had one water when we arrived, but we tipped Merly well every day and had five waters and double our towels every time we came back. I was nervous when we got to the pool, but Daphne and Jeff adopted us the moment we came swimming up (Really, you guys were lifesavers!) My top didn’t really last long in the face of peer pressure... Not that I minded- the best part about TTR is that “no one knows you and no one gives a shit!” To any other newbies going, just swim up to the first person you see with an orange bracelet and introduce yourself. And be willing to join in the games! I was conned into Miss Temptation with the idea of free club passes/TTR discount and while the prize was a pedicure the contest was actually quite a bit of fun. Truthfully, we had intentions of leaving the resort and actually venturing into Cancun. Did. Not. Happen. Almost every day we woke up ridiculously early (I swear it’s Cancun magic that I can feel that rested on maybe five hours of sleep) and made our way to the Sexy Pool to just hang out with everyone- the June Junkies are all the party a person needs! Make sure to bring lots of tip money, the bartenders are awesome and work their asses off. I hardly ever drink, so I can’t judge on how strong/weak the drinks were, but John never complained. We did make two trips away from the resort the first being the Boobs Cruise which we miraculously got a spot on the morning of. Everybody either knows or has been told just how much fun those are so I really don’t think I need to recap the debauchery, but people should really stay away from the green AIWC and never ever ever tell Chinos it’s your birthday... The second was the free trip to Isla Mujeres we got with our booking. This is when I realized how spoiled we had gotten by the people at TTR. I spent a good amount of time thinking how obnoxious and anti-social most of the people on the boat were, and then found out the one couple John and I really liked were actually from Temptations! Also, a boat ride without being topless and no Chinos? No fun. Next time I think we’ll just take an early ferry out to the island and wander on our own. Theme nights were hit or miss on participation, but the party was always incredible. Of course I might be biased because I don’t care as long as I’m dancing John almost gave in to first day exhaustion on White night, but thanks to Mehmet I refused to let him sleep and hauled him from the room to the party and he was ever so grateful Another tip: Make sure to go across the street and buy some redbull, it’ll make sure that you not only make it to Paty O’s but also to the Sports Pool afterwards which was another one of my favorite things to do. But maybe remember to grab towels? You can’t always depend on the staff wanting you to get out so badly that they’ll bring you towels! All it took was one trip and we’re already June Junkies :icon_biggrin: Thank you to Jeff and Daphne (and all the rest of the Okies), Jenny and Gio, Matt and Lauren, Team Traco, Mehmet and Nerissa, Robert and Connie and everyone else who made us feel welcome but whose names we never really got down! And a huuuuge thank you to Dawn and Curtis for getting everything so organized and really encouraging the party- maybe next year John will rock some square cuts!