New Version Ant & Grasshopper

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by ron_jan, Oct 20, 2004.

  1. ron_jan

    ron_jan Guest

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    THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

    OLD VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,

    Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and

    plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the

    cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!





    MODERN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,

    Building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and

    plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference

    and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well

    fed while others are cold and starving.





    CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering

    grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home

    with a table filled with food.



    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that

    in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to

    suffer so?



    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and

    everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house

    where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."

    Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the

    grasshopper's sake.



    Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings

    that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and

    both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his

    "fair share."





    Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and

    Anti-Grasshopper Act,"

    retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for

    failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having

    nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is

    confiscated by the government.



    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a

    defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a

    panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of

    single-parent welfare recipients.



    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last

    bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just

    happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't

    maintain it.





    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the

    house,

    now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize

    the once peaceful neighborhood.





    MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
     
  2. NormsKid

    NormsKid Guest

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  3. ron_jan

    ron_jan Guest

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    Sometimes the truth bears repeating!!

    I never claimed to have authored it!
     
  4. Dori

    Dori Guest

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    Ha ha ha....I don't care who wrote it....it's funny :lol:
     
  5. NavyDavey

    NavyDavey Guest

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    Yes, it is
     
  6. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    I hadn't read it before, so...but of course, I can enjoy the humor.

    I classify it in the same area as those "Why'd the chicken cross the road" jokes where various policital/pop/social figures give their take on why.
     
  7. NavyDavey

    NavyDavey Guest

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    I think Michelle spends to much time on the internets :) She has seen everything.
     
  8. NormsKid

    NormsKid Guest

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    We FINALLY agree on something!!!LOL!

    Michelle
     
  9. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    *bump*

    Ran across this again recently...just substitute Nancy Pelosi for Tom Daschle.
     
  10. Klaw

    Klaw Guest

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  11. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    *bumpity-bump*

    I like it, so shoot me :)