Newbie trip report August 2014

Discussion in 'Temptation Cancun Reviews' started by RobNYuliya, Aug 25, 2014.

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  1. RobNYuliya

    RobNYuliya Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Ok so we saw all the Trip reports and know how helpful they were to us as a new couple. End of the story we are back and happy to be back but would love to go again.

    Might be a little long but here it goes…


    TTR... Great place... yea I know not the most beautiful resort in Cancun but so freaking what... it is still nice views of the small beach and ocean.

    Checking in:
    No problems for us and we actually asked to see the room first and they let us go check out the room. This might not always be the case but it was great for us and we felt that it was very nice touch… speaking of nice touches… oh I can’t talk about that here...

    Decide how you want to roll while you are there.. if you are anywhere near Patty O's you can’t even think about sleep before two any night because it is loud as hell.. but who the fuck would go to sleep at a place like this before two unless you are passed out and if you are passed out this point is pointless anyway…

    If the noise that late is just too much for you .. then ask for a room away from PatyO bar ..

    Our Room:
    We were right by PattyO bar with a view of the Sports pool and ocean.. great room. Clean .. until we got there... and a great view for when you wanted to remember you are actually in a pretty nice place ...

    TIP : TIP YOUR FUCKING MAIDS…. unless I remind you these ladies clean up shit in those rooms that nobody is suppose to clean up for you… your tip should be commensurate with your level of mess… :) no seriously think about it and I have to say our maid did an excellent job…

    Food.

    Buffet was ok but not great. We ate mostly breakfast/brunch there and it was fine. Was it great... shit no but who cares.. it is the place you go to soak up the BLUE SHIT, RED SHIT, GREEN SHITand Yellow Shit... that you drink... the FOUR SHITS will be explained later in this post.

    Other restaurants were great.. with great service. at least in our experience. We really enjoyed the Village WOK.

    We did the romantic dinner by the sea.While the private dining experience was great the cost of $160 was a bit much for the quality of the food. A waterfront table at Village Wok was better and costed $0 dollars extra.



    Party and entertainment.

    Good but not great.., the games were fun but it wasn’t anything that made us go oh we have to see this…. Look everyone holds the staff to the standards of Chino, a past entertainer here… and now chief fucking maniac on the Boobs Cruise. It is impossible to compete with that guy. If you want to be entertained and enjoy then get up and participate… if you just want to watch. The staff do a good job to get things going with games and then they have to respond to the participants and crowd. YES YOU WILL EVENTUALLY SEE NUDITY (OMG) during entertainment. This is normally a result of the “FOUR SHITS” ….

    Party, well open your mouth talk to people, drink a little, do some shit you never would do and have fun . Let it go and you will bring your own party….


    BOOBS CRUISE…
    JUST FUCKING DO IT… YOU HAVE TO IT IS MANDATORY IF YOU LIKE A PARTY. IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO SEE SOME SHIT LIKE THE BOOBS CRUISE THEN YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE WRONG RESORT ANYWAY.


    List of top 10 tips and observations from two newbies...


    1.Don’t take shots of straight VODKA from the sexy pool bar… it was hot as hell and does not mix well with the three shits..

    2.If you are a single guy join the party, talk, have fun… BUT DON’T FUCKING CREEP. If you want to watch something go to your room turn on Channel 12, I believe this is the right number. OH AND IF YOUR SINGLE LEAVE YOUR FUCKING CAMERA IN THE ROOM :)

    3.If you are a single guy or even a couple and all you want to do is fuck.. not drink, party, and maybe fuck… go fuck yourself… or go to another resort but leave the partiers alone. You are a buzz kill.

    4. Do the BOOBS CRUISE and do it early in your tip. You meet people and then have some people to talk with and hang out with later in the cruise

    5.Be prepared to see other people do shit you might never do and then be prepared to wake up saying oh shit we just did that as you laugh like hell :)

    6.Expect to see naked people. No you do not see sex in the sexy pool but if you hang out in the “sports pool” late at night then you are going to see things at the very least get very very steamy.

    7.WATER, WATER, WATER, EAT, EAT and plan for a sex break and nap in the afternoon. The days are long the party is hard you probably will not get much sleep and you will probably consume large quantities of alcohol AKA the FOUR SHITS. If you don’t hydrate, eat, and plan to get that nap in you will wind up passed out somewhere and miss or almost miss the things you wanted to do … like theme nights… YES WE HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH DRINKING TOO MUCH SHIT.

    8.Do the theme nights it is great, the costumes are great, and just makes for a good time. Nobody gives a shit that you may be half naked.. Wear what you feel comfortable in but don’t be afraid to wear whatever the fuck you want..

    9.Bring dollars it does help at the bar if you tip. They will always serve you but you tip they remember you and if they remember you that is a good thing.

    10.Remember you make your party, you make your rules and you define your happiness .. hell and it is all inclusive . You want to get wild then get wild. you want to lay back and watch other people party then do it..


    The story of the FOUR SHITS
    written by a Crazy SHIT

    There are four shits in the land of Temptations: The BLUE SHIT, THE GREEN SHIT, THE RED SHIT, and the YELLOW SHIT. Each shit is equally potent and will fuck your SHITup if you drink too much of the SHIT.

    Our first encounter was with the BLUE SHIT served by friends who are cool as SHIT, we met on a boat off the coast of the land of Temptations after consuming tequila served by a Mexican man named CHINOS with one big ass TIT, who was crazy as SHIT. CHINOs has a magical way of getting everyone half naked as SHIT and not giving a SHIT. After consuming the BLUE SHIT for a long time it was pointed out that the BLUE SHIT really does taste like SHIT and we moved on to the RED SHIT. By this time we were all drunk as SHIT and were not smart enough to quit the SHITwhen one of our new found friends brought us all a shot of the Green SHIT. Now the GREEN SHIT was loved by none but drunk by all and lasted not long before someone moved on to introduce our band of friends to the YELLOW SHIT. Now it was determined, especially the ladies who were hot as SHIT, that the YELLOW SHIT was the best SHIT and we kept drinking that SHIT because none of us gave a SHIT. By now some of the ladies decided to leave to go do some fun SHIT :) and the rest of us continued to party like SHIT. Someone reported the bed in the room the ladies went got wet as SHIT and someone called maid service who also didn’t give a SHIT! Everyone in the land of Temptations kept asking us what is that SHIT called, so we informed them just ask for one of the FOUR SHITS.

    Now be advised that asking for the FOUR SHITS too often may lead to you doing some crazy SHIT, not remembering SHIT..but will definitely make you happy as SHIT. However, consuming the FOUR SHITS will result in you hurting like SHIT until the next day when you take your first RAINBOW SHIT.

    And that my friends is the END OF THIS SHIT
     
  2. applesauce

    applesauce Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Great trip report!

    :daveandmo:
     
  3. jeff & deb

    jeff & deb I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    Sounds like a great Shit show.. glad you have shit load of fun...LOL Great report thanks
     
  4. Krager

    Krager Addict Registered Member

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    Thanks for the great trip report. These help me stay sane between my own trips. Only 3 months away now.
     
  5. Edward-Alli

    Edward-Alli I can choose my own title Registered Member

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    Great report guys very funny Shit. lol
     
  6. Don&Olga

    Don&Olga Guru Registered Member

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    Great Trip report and the 10 ten tips were good too
     
  7. AJ and Paul

    AJ and Paul Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Great trip report. Can't wait for our second trip for NYE.
     
  8. Bourbon Life

    Bourbon Life Regular Registered Member

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    Shit Yeah!! Glad you had an Shit of a time!
     
  9. hot_2_trot

    hot_2_trot Guest

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    OMG hilarious! Thanks for writing such a great TR!
     
  10. 2Excited!

    2Excited! Newbie Registered Member

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    Great trip report! Good tips!
     
  11. bigxbear

    bigxbear Enthusiast Registered Member

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    Good Post! very informative... now if only these 4 weeks would go by quicker..
     
  12. sly_m&m

    sly_m&m Regular Registered Member

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    Great trip report. Can't wait to be there in April
     
  13. Ryanand Tracie

    Ryanand Tracie Enthusiast Registered Member

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    We miss everything about TTR.... Except the "rainbow shit"! It was great meeting you two!