So I tried to have fun this trip, but a few days in I caught a cold / flu so things were definitely tamer this year. I tried my best to power through and be out there enjoying TTR with the rest of the Crew, but I was so ill at times I just couldn’t manage to party quite as hard as I usually would. There were days I didn’t make it out of bed until 3pm, and some nights at Paty O, I had to sneak off frequently to my room for 30-minute rests in the dark to recover. Air con issues in the room didn’t help either, so even though I was resting a lot I couldn’t sleep. I was surviving on around three hours sleep a night and completely wiped out for most of the holiday. Aside from the illness it was a good trip, the Chaos Crew are the best party people. This was our fourth stay at the resort (November 26 to December 10) and our third stay during Chaos Crew weeks. It’s great meeting up with all the repeaters during the Crew weeks - we throw one hell of a party from Thanksgiving through to mid-December. The group has evolved over the years and I’d guess there’s now well over 100 people returning during those weeks. With so many people joining in now I struggled to make time for everyone – if you didn’t see me a lot then apologies, there’s just way too many people now to spend time with everyone. As with all my reviews, I don’t really mention people a lot as I don’t want to forget anyone. Also, I’ve tried to include pictures to break up the text a bit. No nudity, but if you feature in a picture and don’t want it posted, please PM me and I’ll remove it. Day 1 – ‘Dare to be Tempted’ and lots of tequila shots After a hellish wait in the airport (10 flights had arrived at the same time so the customs queue was mayhem and extended right back to the baggage claim) we were greeted by a friendly but apologetic USA Transfers rep. With the airport so busy they were struggling to make pick-ups. There was a massive queue of vans trying to get into the airport, so we had to wait around 30 mins for one to get through to the pick-up area. After landing at 2:15pm we finally made it to the resort around 5:30pm. We were allocated a room right outside Paty O (2103) which is ideal for us as we like to be up late and close to the action. We avoided the timeshare talk and sensibly decided after a quick drink with Danny and Lola (thanks once again for offering the tequila shots) to unpack. Last year we just dumped it all on the bed and promptly forgot until we rolled into bed at 3am. We were one of the earlier Chaos Crew arrivals, so not many others were about that night, but we still made it a party. We met Kristin (on her 2nd visit to the resort with her mum), Chris and Tammy (whom we’d never really spent time with the past few years), Christa, Eric and Timmy (the fun Irish guy). Christa and Tammy giving the 21-year-old guys a run for their money Timmy on top form I’d never seen the ‘Dare to be Tempted’ show and most of the others didn’t want to check it out, so me and Kristin decided to give it a shot. What a show! Definitely one that everyone should go watch at least once. It’s both funny and sexy, a perfect combination. Back at Paty O we hit the dance floor for the first of many nights dancing up a storm. Later I helped Kristin to find her room in the 5000 block as she’d forgotten the room number, then Russ and I stayed up a while longer for more dancing and drinking before calling it a night at 12:30am. Day 2 – Too cold for lingerie? I started the day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed early on Day 2. Awake at 6:30am, breakfast at 7am and out at the pool by 8am. The weather was miserable – cold, cloudy and windy. True Brits, Russ and I still managed to get sunburnt through the clouds. We reserved chairs at the Chaos Crew spot (right by the bar) and met Sal, a single traveller who’d come in on the same flight as us, who coincidentally lives in the same city as us. We ended up spending a lot of our holiday with Sal. Slowly and surely other repeaters started to arrive – first Jesse, then Coree, Lynne, Sue, Brenda and Josh, Amber and Nate to name a few. Despite the crap weather, with drinks and good company we had fun. This is about as full as the pool got all day. By evening it still felt cold and too windy to wear lingerie, so I didn’t dress up. That was until the drinks were flowing and everyone else was dressing up. I gave in and got changed about 11pm. I think we turned in around 1am. I have pictures from lingerie night but I would never post lingerie pics on an open forum in respect of people’s privacy. Day 3 – glow night I don’t recall much of what went on during the day, I think the weather improved somewhat so we just headed down to the pool and spent the day beer-ponging, a few drinks and chatting. A few more of the Crew arrived this day too so the party could really get started! The theme was White / Glow Night. I don’t wear white very well so decided to go all out neon glow. Kristin (centre) also did neon glow and looked fantastic. It doesn’t show up well on the photos but the bunny ears have LED lights and flash red/blue/green too. Sue (Ibiza Sue) traditionally brings neon paints with her and paints people up on White / Glow Night. She painted the word ‘HOT’ on my forehead, so I spent the first half of the night asking people “Do I look hot”? I wiped it off later in the night when the paint smeared and the joke got old. The first White / Glow Night of the Crew is always a good night and I think we finally closed the bar down around 5am. I don’t remember this being taken – apparently I acquired white ears as well at some point in the evening. The bar staff were smiling then, but probably hated us at 4am when we brought out the dice game and needed stacks of shots to play. Russ is lucky I’m not a jealous woman! Day 4 – Christmas night This day started a bit later after the shenanigans of White Night. I think I was up around noon but can’t be sure! There was certainly lots of beer pong at the pool. We had a table booked at the Asian for 5:30 so I think we only made a very brief appearance at the pool. This was the only time we dined at the Asian and it was pretty good. The resort’s theme for Saturday is supposed to be ‘red’ night, but we always do Christmas theme on Saturdays. Russ and I did white versions of Christmas – him as a snowman and me an angel. Don’t ask me how I got the angel wings and the top hat in our luggage. It was a huge headache and the hat alone took up about 1/3 of a suitcase! Anything to raise a smile for our Chaos Crew. The evening outside pool party is on a Saturday, and when that finished up Paty O got pretty busy. The damn wings were a real pain. They were pretty big and kept knocking into people all night. I was drinking red wine, and every time I went to take a drink somebody would inevitably be trying to get past me at the same time, so I ended up with a few spills on the white dress, which looked hideous so I got changed around 12am into civilian clothes. Russ didn’t last long with the hat either. It was passed around a lot for photos. Day 5 – Scavenger Hunt! I think we turned in relatively early on the Saturday (2am) because I was starting to not feel well. I knew by the next morning I was definitely sick. At this point I wasn’t sure if it was a hangover (I rarely get hangovers at TTR) or a cold. It was many days later when I realised I had flu. I’d organised the Chaos Crew Scavenger Hunt (whereby teams needed to check off items on a list like taking photos, finding objects etc.) which I think went down really well. I just wish I’d been around a bit more to see it happening. I’m sure pictures will eventually surface of some of the hilarious positions that were required (like fitting the entire team into a tiny space, making a human pyramid on the beach and such like). Lots of people told me they had fun with the hunt, but I made it a bit too long. If anything it was a great team bonding game. I had to turn in a few hours after the hunt started as I was not feeling good. It’s then I discovered my biggest complaint of the holiday – the air conditioning. We couldn’t sleep with it on in the room as I couldn’t breathe. I swear there’s something nasty lurking in the air vents. Even if it didn’t cause my sickness, I’m sure it certainly didn’t help. By the end of our holiday I couldn’t tolerate the air conditioning anywhere in the resort. It ruined my meals at the Italian and we couldn’t relax back at the room unless the air had been shut off for ages and the patio door was open. That night was uniform theme but I only made it out for a few hours and turned in at 11pm, so I don’t have any pictures from that night. Day 6 – animal night After a restless night I did make it out for a bit during the day, but I had zero energy to do much more than sit around looking poorly. Sue’s team won the Scavenger Hunt by a mile, and she was still running around trying to get a few extra points that morning! The theme that night was animal. Animal theme is always a good night! There were lots of crazy outfits. I’m sure a lot more pictures will surface as others contribute to the countdown for next year. Jesse surprised everyone by wearing more clothes than anybody else We have a tradition now whereby if you miss two nights in a row, you get a knock on your door to get your ass out of bed. One night is forgivable, but expect a call if it looks like you’re skipping out on more than one. So around 11:30pm we sent a few of the guys to go get Travis who was a no-show the night before (sorry dude). Russ as the “I don’t fucking care” honey badger. We had a lot of fun with Nate’s shark hat, which made its way around the group ‘groping’ people. Jim (of Kel and Jim) had fun going for the record of ‘most photo bombs in one night’ on animal night. Careful, the Llama spits! The shark hat somehow made its way back to our room that night. The more sick I got over the next few days (I think I was hallucinating), I had to hide it away in the wardrobe as the googly-eyes in semi-darkness were really freaking me out! Not sure what night it was, but we came up with the term “Coree Drunk” after how wasted Coree seemed to get every night. If you were really drunk you were termed as “Coree’d”. Oh Coree, at least in this one you’re smiling! Day 7 – The day the rain didn’t stop, boobs cruise and Hawaiian night I’m glad I cancelled my place on the 2nd Dec boobs cruise. I hear they still had a good time but the rain pretty much didn’t stop until late in the afternoon. I was up early so we went down to the dock to wave the cruise off. Wow that boat looked full! Less than 10 minutes after they’d set off, the heavens opened! We braved it out under the Sexy Pool bar for around an hour, then decided rain or not we wanted a swim, so stripped off and got into the pool. It was fun for a while, but when the thunder and lightning started that was our call to get out. Back at the room the damn air conditioning was making my life a misery. For days people had been handing Russ all kinds of cold and flu meds to help me feel better but I’d not taken anything. I rarely take medication at home so I didn’t feel right using up everyone else’s meds whilst away. I’d got to my breaking point and finally caved and took two flu tablets donated by Berta (from Canada). Maybe it’s because I rarely take medications, or maybe you Canadians get better meds but this stuff really knocked me out! My airways opened up and the other symptoms disappeared completely, but I felt strangely light-headed. We spent rest of the day having fun in the room – there’s not much else to do when majority of the Crew are on the cruise and it’s raining outside! We were back at the pool in time to greet the boat back and watched the poor drenched shipmates warm up at the bar. All was good by the evening and the weather improved considerably. The theme was Hawaiian night and I think it worked pretty well. A few of the girls had brought the whole coconut bra and grass skirt outfits, but nobody was brave enough to wear them. I bought a Hawaiian dress for this night, but it was not comfortable – thick fabric and a little too tight/revealing for my liking so I changed back into civs pretty early. My theme outfits tend to be on the comedy side rather than sexy or revealing. I’m all for the great sexy outfits some of the girls put together but it’s not something I’ll ever feel comfortable trying to achieve. Rick (in the background) was another of the single guys in our group. No idea how this photo came about but it’s funny anyway White guy dancing lessons with Don Day 8 – the longest night out ever Day started as usual: breakfast, pool, afternoon nap. As you might have guessed we didn’t really get up to much in the day. This time of year, the sun goes down early (around 4pm) so there’s only three or four good hours at the pool. I was spending far more time in the room than usual, needing more rest than previous trips. We went for dinner at the Italian with Trish, Don, Chris and Falynn. Took a while to get through, but all good food. Just wish I’d been well enough to enjoy the conversation. I was trying to keep away from people due to the constant sniffling and coughing. The theme night tonight was Cosplay (dressing up as characters from comic books, cartoons, movies, superheroes and such). Russ needed a fair bit of liquid courage to put his on – mine was a lot easier. I think he’s earned his stripes now and will be toning it down a bit next year. Someone else needs to take the crazy outfit torch. Russ was ‘Poison Ivy’ I did Pikachu. Russ wasn’t feeling good at all. He’d unfortunately but predictably picked up my illness (this is what happens when you share a bed), so he changed out of his costume an hour or so later. I wanted to stay up until midnight so I could see in my birthday (the next day), but I told Russ it was ok to go to bed without me since he felt so ill. Of course he wouldn’t and sat at the table looking poorly. Sour Puss Russ With Russ feeling so sick, I made the call to skip the boobs cruise we’d booked for the next day. I knew I’d still be fine even though I was sick (I love the boat), but I didn’t want to put Russ through it if he was ill too (he’s not as keen as me). I knew he’d never cancel because it was my birthday, so I had to take responsibility to make the sensible choice for once. I felt bad as others had signed up because we had said we were going, but I really didn’t want to get out onto the ocean and Russ be sat at the back miserable and sick. 12am rolled around and Don (Trish & Don) somehow managed to get the message “Happy Birthday Trish” to scroll by on the big screen at Paty O. Thanks guys, that was awesome! I also celebrated with a round of Wet Pussy shots. A few more drinks and the party really got started. The ‘three Trish’s’ photo for this year We brought the dice game out again a bit later on after the music stopped, and partied on into the early hours. It was the only time this holiday I saw the sun come up (retired about 5:30am). Day 9 – my birthday So I made a bad choice and decided to keep on drinking! The flu was kicking my ass so I took more flu meds, and let’s just say I should’ve first considered if a combination of flu meds and drinking is a good idea. I felt great out at the pool, but crashed and burned around 3pm. I’m glad we skipped the cruise. My whole face was inflamed from the flu, with itchy nose, scratchy throat and red itchy eyes. By the time I got back to the room early afternoon my eyes and throat were burning. I had to send Russ out to beg, borrow or steal some antihistamines. Thank you Angie for coming to the rescue! A short nap and we were up and out again for lingerie night. It was some of the Crew’s last night, so we tried to make it fun for them. My eyes and face were still really swollen from either the flu or reacting with the air con in the room. I could barely see. Before the night started I’d contemplated just staying in the room as I was a bit embarrassed at how it looked, but being in the room was just as bad, even with the air con off I couldn’t breathe in there. As it turns out we had a great night dancing our asses off, but once the music shut off I was done so headed straight for bed. Since I’d missed Uniform night, Kel brought out her Fireball shots again. Great stuff – I can’t believe it’s 40%, it tastes more like 20% to me (which could be dangerous!). Loved the tiny shot-sized solo cups too! There’s some really great pictures from this night too, but again I won’t post anything from lingerie night without permission. Day 10 – the day of hell 10 days of party whilst trying to overcome flu finally got to me. I spent most of this day in the room, trying whatever I could to get better. It was only a day or so later we realised that if we opened the patio door and the main room door then it created a wind tunnel and blew out most of whatever was making us ill in the room. I made a promise to myself that day to take it easy for the rest of the holiday – a promise I kept for the most part. Clearly the flu wasn’t going to fix itself if I was drinking and I was tired of feeling so bad. We did eventually make it down to the pool and had a few (soft) drinks with everyone there. It was White / Glow Night again, and we made an effort to make it out and party with Trish and Don (it was their last night to party) but I don’t think my heart was in it. I spent most of the night sitting down, when normally I’m up dancing to most songs. I dressed up again, but as a much more subdued bunny! (Pic stolen from Angie and Zoran – we took very few pictures this night). Finally remembered to bring Nate’s shark hat back to him from our room which made the rounds again for photos. Made it out until 2am (just about) then bed. Day 11 – Christmas night again I was so disappointed when I heard that some of the Crew were out partying until 5:30am the night before and I missed it! Damn illness. Any other trip I’d of been right there with them. I was sad I’d missed Coree’s last night – last year we ended up in the Sport’s Pool about 4am, then back to Paty O for more dice and drinks. Nobody wanted to do it this year – but believe me, if I was there I would’ve jumped in My day started well. After a decent rest I was feeling a little better. Still full of flu but at least semi-human. We still had a quiet day down at the beach. It’s at this point when you do two weeks at TTR that you start winding down. I think people were expecting us to be out partying it up at the pool, but it’s physically impossible to do both long days and nights without some kind of break. I prefer to take it easy in the day and go hard at night. That night was Christmas theme again, but I was feeling too shit to dress up. I did put the angel costume on for about 30 mins but with people bumping into me I got too annoyed and changed back. I felt so bad this night, my voice was gone and I couldn’t speak. I wanted to be up dancing and chatting – you don’t realise how important talking is until you can’t do it anymore! Everyone else seemed to be having a great night though. This was Trish, Don and Nate’s last night and I was very sad to see them go. It doesn’t feel like a party with only one Trish in the room! I couldn’t speak but I didn’t want to just admit defeat and go to bed, so I made a note explaining I couldn’t speak…I need a chalk board next year! Didn’t work as well as I thought the note would because some people were too drunk to read it and just kept asking me questions over and over again, then staring at me blankly. I wanted to stay up with the Crew, but at 2am when the music shut off, without being able to communicate effectively it was kind of pointless, so again a relatively early night for me. Day 12 – dress to impress night We had another quiet day around the Quiet Pool – actually, the rest of our days were spent at the Quiet Pool. I was partied out and the thought of going hard at the pool with the volume of the music there, it just didn’t sit well. A few others came and found us and we had a bit of a laugh and a joke at the pool. This was Dress to Impress night and Sue’s joint meal at the seafood restaurant. I enjoyed the meal, but still really suffering from chest and throat problems I couldn’t really talk that well. I feel like I’ve missed out on so many conversations this holiday. I love to talk with people at the restaurants and when the music shuts off, I just didn’t have the voice to do so this year. It felt creepy just sitting there not saying anything or struggling back coughing every time I did speak. I don’t have pictures of this day for some reason, maybe we retired early to bed again. Day 13 – nearly over Wow 13 days and we’re totally partied out! Next trip we’re going for 7 or 10 days not two weeks again. I’m too old for 14 days straight partying, but this was our last chance to go hard so I tried to make an effort. We played it cool again at the Quiet Pool all day. I did find this slightly alarming S&M towel monkey left by the maid clinging to the bedside lamp. We had a late booking at the Italian with Kurt, Berta, Christa and Sal, so we had a few quiet drinks at Paty O before heading over. What a great meal! Great company and so much fun! I’m just sorry I was still suffering so much with the A/C. It was Hawaiian night again, so we got some nice pictures of the last of the Crew looking pretty in their Hawaiian gear. It started raining so we found a space under the Premier area in Paty O. We discovered earlier in the week that you’re allowed to sit under there as long as you’re with at least one person with a white band, so I made sure we bribed our Premier friends to keep our spot in the shelter. I got lei'd! I wanted to stay out late this night, but mostly everyone else retired after the music shut down so I was back in bed about 2:30am. Russ had gone to bed right after the music shut down, so Lorenzo made me promise to slap him on the arse for him when I got back in….I duly did it but apologising “I’m sorry Lorenzo made me do this!” at the same time. Day 14 – our last full day This was our last day, so we spent the whole morning packing the cases. Learnt from previous years that we need a good few hours to pack properly so decided to get it out of the way early. Rest of the day was spent at the Quiet Pool. We stayed until the sun went down at 4pm. Then it was back out to Paty O before our last meal with Sue in the Italian. It was a nice meal but the air conditioning was really affecting my throat again. We headed back out to Paty O for one final night of dancing. The week before, the band had been moved to Nice Shoes and we don’t like it in there so missed out. This week I’m glad to say they were back out playing at Paty O. It was animal night again, but I’d already packed everything away and didn’t want to mess about going through the cases again so it was just plain clothes for me this night instead of the Bumble Bee costume again. At our Italian meal the night before, they’d served these brown bread rolls that looked like turds…we had a (probably not) funny idea to take the piss with the bread, maybe putting it on a chair at the pool or something, but I forgot about it until that night so we took a few photos in various positions. Then all too soon it was night over and time for bed. Despite the illness we’d still powered on and had a good time. I was just sad that there were so many nights I would’ve stayed out much later and had fun with the rest of the Crew but had to take myself to bed. I was quite naughty and stayed out until 4am this night. In hindsight I should’ve called it a night much earlier, but sometimes these things happen. Day 15 – Goodbye TTR and hangover at the airport! Wouldn’t you know it, the day I have to actually do something, I wake up with a hangover. I was exhausted, had a headache and miserable to be going home! We had breakfast then packed up the rest of our stuff. I realised I’d not taken any pictures in the day, only night shots so took a few snaps before heading to the lobby. A lot of the remaining Crew were leaving that day, and we actually met up with a lot of them at the airport. Then it was a (quicker than usual) eight hour flight back home, but a hell of a bumpy ride! So to summarise, we had fun, but not as much fun as we usually have at the resort. I was so pissed at getting sick, and the fact it lasted almost the whole holiday. Normally if I get sick it’ll last three to four days max, but I’m still sick now and it’s going on two weeks! We are having a do-over for a week in April to make up for it. I don’t have anything negative to say about our stay apart from the air conditioning issues. The food was excellent as ever – I always find something I want to eat, and the drinks were strong enough and plentiful. It rained and was cold / cloudy for a few days but that’s nothing we don’t already know about going at this time of year. Some people were complaining about the entertainment (they’ve seriously toned down the games) but that doesn’t bother me. I make my own entertainment and pay little attention to the poolside games anyway. We’ll definitely be back next year, but I’m only booking either seven or ten days, 14 is way too many for me now. We are hoping some others of the Crew can swing a stay in late April when we’re meeting up with Trish and Don. Some final highlights Running the bar dry of mint for mojitos on more than one occasion Shouting at Coree to either “Hurry up!” or “Slow down!” rather loudly during the dice game – yes women are confusing creatures! My name on the big screen in Paty O at midnight on my birthday Naming Russ’ animal costume the honey badger (“I don’t fucking care”) which became a catchphrase for the whole holiday Don’s white guy dancing (it’s all in the hips…you’ll get there some day!) Coree getting ‘Coree’d’ almost every night Christa bringing the party to the dance floor every night Jesse and his crazy lingerie costumes Nate trying to drink with his Minnie Mouse gloves on Winning at beer pong Travis’ sigh of despair at almost everything happening around him by about day three Zoran’s disturbing Christmas suit Sal’s even more disturbing lingerie dong outfit Russ as Poison Ivy…some things you just can’t unsee Jim’s photobombs in the zebra outfit Birthday shots! The amount of people who told me they had a great time doing the Scavenger Hunt Linda killing it for the pole dancing competition Weirdly the amount of people telling me I suited the pink hair Richard ‘Dickie’ taking part in every pool game Russ and I winning the music trivia game Kurt and his amazing ability to come up with the most hilarious remarks on the fly The entire 10pm Italian meal we had with Kurt, Berta, Christa and Sal. It was a late one and I could barely breathe, but damn that was funny! I was crying with laughter when the waiters served us the ‘turd’ bread Russ seeking Travis out for every hip hop song trying to out-lyric each other…he was sad when he went home Falynn and Chris dancing up a storm – people actually stopped dancing to watch these two on the floor! Christa and Sal…felt such warmth for these guys I couldn’t even take the piss The worrying amount of ‘arse’ shots and fake BJ shots on my camera…specially the ones with various ‘things’ near the rear entrance, and the fact I didn’t snap one of them!