What Halmark Cards Don't Say....

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by Dori, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. Dori

    Dori Guest

    but maybe should......

    My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I've always wanted to have

    someone to hold,

    someone to love.

    After having met you.

    I've changed my mind.

    -------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

    I Must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    ####################################################

    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.

    ********************************************************************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time.

    Let's say we stop?

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I'm so miserable without you

    It's almost like you're here.

    =====================================================

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?

    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    Something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.

    ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    So your daughter's a hooker,

    And it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    It's really good pay.
     
  2. Jamie

    Jamie Mayor of Temptation Registered Member

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    Those were good. :D

    An actual one I saw said on the cover "Congratulations on losing 200 pounds of ugly fat!"

    Inside it said "Congratulations on your divorce!"

    Jamie
     
  3. ddcam1

    ddcam1 Guest

    :lol: :lol: :lol: Too funny!
     
  4. janie

    janie Guest

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. shoreladie

    shoreladie Guest

    I like it :lol:
     
  6. SirMoose

    SirMoose Guest

    Those were great!! Thanks.
     
  7. wendis01

    wendis01 Guest

    NOW I AM OFFENDED !
    Just like i was in body shots off fletch !












    Just kidding.....those were some good ones. :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  8. TANDG

    TANDG Guest

    I'm still laughing! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Terri
     
  9. Matty

    Matty Guest

    Good readin'!That was cool mate :D
     
  10. Liz

    Liz Guest

    :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  11. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    Just noticed these again. :lol:
     
  12. vrodgers

    vrodgers Guest

    Good for a Monday mornin' laugh! :lol:
     

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