Pre Mothers Day Humor

Discussion in 'Free For All' started by LuvCereza, Apr 13, 2004.

  1. LuvCereza

    LuvCereza Guest

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    This was passed on to me thru an email. I thought this was good too.

    My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
    > DONE- "If you're going to kill each other, do
    > it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
    >
    > My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better
    > pray that will come out of the carpet."
    >
    > My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:- "If
    > you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
    > into the middle of next week!"
    >
    > My mother taught me LOGIC- "Because I said
    > so, that's why."
    >
    > My Mother taught me LOGIC...#2 "If you fall
    > out of that swing and break your neck, you're
    > not going to the store with me."
    >
    > My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure
    > you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
    > accident."
    >
    > My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and
    > I'll give you something to cry about."
    >
    > My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
    > -"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
    >
    > My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST - "Will
    > you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
    >
    >
    > My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll
    > sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."
    >
    >
    > My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks
    > as if a tornado swept through your room."
    >
    > My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
    > - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
    > toward you; would you listen THEN?"
    >
    > My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've
    > told you once, I've told you a million times
    > - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
    >
    > My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I
    > brought you into this world, and I can take you
    > out."
    >
    > My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
    > -
    >
    > "Stop acting like your father!"
    >
    > My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are
    > millions of less fortunate children in this world
    > who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
    >
    >
    > My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just
    > wait until we get home."
    >
    > My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You
    > are going to get it when we get home!"
    >
    > My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If
    > you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
    > to freeze that way."
    >
    > My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you
    > don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get
    > a good job."
    >
    > My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater
    > on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
    >
    >
    > My mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn
    > mower cuts off your toes, don't come running
    > to me."
    >
    > My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
    > - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
    > grow up."
    >
    > My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're
    > just like your father."
    >
    > My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you
    > think you were born in a barn?"
    >
    > My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
    > "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One
    > day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn
    > out just like you!"
    >
    >
     
  2. ChrisB

    ChrisB Guest

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    Luv....

    You just discovered the very reason we do not have any kids. :lol:

    As Jamie's mother is fond of saying "she use to read Dennis the Menace each morning to find out how her day was going to go! :shock:

    But, I like the whole Mother's Day Tribute; I will pass it on to my friends. Thanks Chris
     
  3. janie

    janie Guest

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    May I "borrow" that?
    I love it!


    :D :D :D
     
  4. LuvCereza

    LuvCereza Guest

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    They say that your kids will be 10xs worse than you are. I can only pray and hope for the best now. At least I know all the warning signs before it happeneds. :D
     
  5. Michael F.

    Michael F. Moderator/1st CC Member Registered Member

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    *bump*
    saw this again recently. too late for Mother's Day, tho :lol:
     
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